A lot has passed under the bridge
recently, and a lot too over it of
late. But first, I’d like to dedicate
this episode to the safety of the
over 200 kidnapped Chibok School
girls. I pray heaven sends angels to
paralyze the evil sense of their
captors while they regain their
freedom soonest. I keep pondering
why so much violence keeps
increasingly emanating from a
religion claimed to be so named
after peace, yet I give all glory to
the Prince of peace – Jesus Christ.
Having said that, I beg to focus on
the main subject – relationship. I
used to think about what really is
‘love at first sight’. As in, if there is
such in existence. I know the
human mind is curious and is
easily attracted to odds and
strangeness, but to fall in love
during the first phase of
acquaintance is questionable or at
least either obscure or ambiguous,
or both. The truth being, love and
infatuation though distantly
related, are opposing. Hence I ask,
how do lovers to-be see their
newly-met when they first see
them- as strange friends or as
friendly strangers? To answer this
question, I dare to appraise the
dominant tone of a relationship I
had with a certain fair lady I still
rate high but then dearly cherished.
She didn’t treat me with any
special affection or attention as
expected of true Christian lovers
but was a pillar of support and an
object of courage at many
instances. A case of a good friend
but a bad lover. I wasn’t perfect
either, I must confess.
You see before things spiralled out
of control, we both were growing
deeper in understanding but not so
in affection, yet we both knew our
bounds. At the beginning, there
was no haste or greed and this
helped us. We as at then realised
the invaluable expediency of
mutual openness and even though
we struggled at some points, I
taught her what men need while
she taught me what women don’t
want. You see, this wouldn’t have
been possible at first sight. It took
sacrifices only patience and time
could permit.
To claim love at first sight is to
blur the line between affection and
affiliation. Yet there seems to be
some notable exceptions. Such as
asking, didn’t Adam fall in love
with Eve at first sight, or God with
man, or Isaac with Rebecca? In
each of these cases, a rather sound
or roughly equal defenses could be
made in support or against. But to
buttress the truth is to first admit
the reality, which in this case is to
assess what is trendily attainable.
For those whose networking with
heaven is off, direct socialization
appears key. I’m referring to
courtship and dating. It’s healthier
to convert a friend to a spouse
than to be married before
becoming friends. And an average
marriage lasts more than forty
years before either partner dies. So,
why rush into what you have
decades to enjoy?
Finally, I advise as always that,
premarital schemes are primarily
for those who can’t decipher the
mind of God for themselves, hence
their need to be guided by the
counselling of the experienced. For
of what use again would be the
mere opinion of mortal man when
the will of God is already known in
a matter? So to the very spiritual I
advise, wait till you hear from God
but to the not so spiritual I suggest,
grow in love, don’t fall in it.